So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone shattered a urinal.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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