I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize