just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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