NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
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I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
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They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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