you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize