When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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