We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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