You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
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There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
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I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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