We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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