so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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