Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
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you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
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I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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