some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
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I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
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I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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