I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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