i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Randomize