just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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