i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize