i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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