my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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