I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Actions speak louder than pants.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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