so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize