She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
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We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
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Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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