i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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