Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
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can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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