do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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