Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
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Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
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its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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