I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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