I skipped work to stalk him.
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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