Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize