even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize