My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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