the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
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