Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
You need Xanax blowdarts
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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