wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize