just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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