Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
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Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
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Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
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