dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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