There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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