If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize