No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
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he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
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We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
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