Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize