Define "chronic" masturbator.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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