You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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