Farmville is her only friend.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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