I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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