so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize