Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
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