Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
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