the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
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well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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