ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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