you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize